Wednesday, January 16, 2008

On hate

First, please pardon the non-pet nature of this post. I just need to get this out and make it public knowledge.

Ever since I forgave my dad back about a year ago, I seem to have lost the ability, or desire, to hate. I recently found out that a man who raped me several years ago is in the hospital, fighting for his life, and I have nothing but well wishes and compassion to offer him. I searched my soul upon hearing this for any signs of hatred, or joy in his suffering, and try as I might, I found none. I originally found this to be odd, but now I think it is a blessing. God has blessed me by taking hate out of my life. All thats left now is love, and love is never wrong.

"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" I feel like I am finally practicing what I've been praying all these years.

My inability to hate really couldn't have come at a better time for some people. I've recently found out the heinous truth behind the years of lies lavished on me by the one person I was closer to than God. (That being the first mistake I made) I am disappointed, and saddened, and much much wiser today for having heard the truth, but I don't hate him. I don't wish him harm. Instead I feel intense pity for his poor tortured soul. Old and alone, with nothing but his paranoia to keep him company at night. Someday all the lies and all the pain he's caused will come crashing down upon him like waves and he will become awash in a sea of misery of his own design. Its not a fate I wish on anyone, even him. So if you are out there, and you are reading this, and you have lied to me, used me, and sold me out, then have no fear of reprisal from me. I forgive you. You need only make your peace with God.

-Rachael

3 comments:

Debra Kay said...

Hate only means you are carrying someone elses burden. I'm glad you are not.

Saintlover said...

I am glad you have been able to put, what appears to be some very painful events, behind you. Live life to the fullest with love in your heart... that's a great motto. Bless!

Cynthia Blue said...

Wow. To reach a state of forgiveness is a very admirable thing. Hate is a powerful emotion. I still have some of it left in me.