Give an centimeter, take a kilometer (Keeping it metric)

I am a really laid back person. I get along with everyone. I don't have fights with my friends, I don't squabble with my room mates, and by God, I'm a nice person. Probably too nice. I'm very giving. I like to be helpful. In my life I have known many people who have seen that generous nature and taken full advantage of it. It happens alot. I'm too nice. I'm a freakin human doormat is what I am. But I'm tired of it, you know. I'm tired. So now is my time to stand up and say, no. No, Madam, I will not do your job for you while you take all the credit and talk shit about me behind my back. I have work to do too, you know. I am a very busy person. Running this school takes hours and hours of planning and preparation. There simply not enough hours in the day for me to do my job, and be your personal slave too. So get over yourself. Get off your lazy, lying ass and do it yourself! While you are at it. Quit coming over here, eating my food, running up our phone bill and taking up the computers during school hours. You are, hands down, the most inconsiderate person I know. I've tried, Lord knows I've tried to be nice to you, to ignore your rudenss, your backstabbing and you lies, to work together for the sake of the cause. But I don't even think you really believe in the cause. I think the only cause you believe in is your cause, the youcause. Poor poor you. Get over yourself. You and your lying daughter both. Someday, the world will see you both for who you really are, and I hope you get back every ounce of suffering you have ever put off on anyone else.

So kindly, F*ck off, jerks!

Huffing

I caught two of my students huffing paint today. I kept smelling fumes. I thought at first they must be painting at the construction site next door. For several days this went on. Each time I would get up and check on the kids, but they all seemed innocently engaged in something legal, so I chalked it up to the construction site. Today, I caught them red handed.

I was shocked to say the least. I mean, you always think you've taught them better than that, that they are smarter than that, then they go and suprise you by doing something so stupid. I told them as much. I made them hand over their paraphenalia and come downstairs so Nikko could participate in the impending lecture.

I told them that their behavior both shocked and frightened me. Huffing kills hundreds of teens every year in the United States, no telling how many in Mexico as I doubt that sort of thing gets recorded. I told them about how limiting oxygen to the brain can leave you with irreversable brain damage. I told them I didn't want to lose them, and that this had to stop.

I asked them why they did it? Were they bored (I could certainly find them something to do) Were they seeking a high? (Because a good run, or excercise of any kind will give them a high without the negative side effects) Or were they trying to escape reality somehow? I harped on this point a little bit. If something was bothering them, or hurting them, getting high wasn't going to make it go away. The high fades, the pain returns. It would do them both better to talk about whats going on. I care, I'm here to listen. Talking about things heals the wounds. Huffing isn't going to solve anything, it will just make things worse. I couldn't think of any other reasons why they might do such a thing, as I am not a teenage boy and therefore, don't think like one. This is something I had no desire to do when I was a kid so I really have no idea where this stuff comes from.

After our talk, they both looked ashamed and embarrassed, sorry that they got caught, not sorry that they did it. One of them was still denying actually doing the huffing while a ring of yellow paint still clung to his lips. I was at a loss. I let them go as it was time for class to begin. They both took off, and didn't attend afternoon classes.

I'm fresh out of ideas on how to cope with these kids sometimes. They get plenty of drug education. They know the dangers. For some reason, I can't convince them, that bad things can, in fact, happen to them. They all think they have some kind of super hero strength, they think they will live forever. How can I speak to them in a language they can understand and relate to?

So what are my options? Go talk to their parents? I hate doing that because they both have single working mothers, who are already doing the best that they can, and have admitted to me openly that they can't control their boys. I also don't want the boys to lose the confindence the boys have in me. I want them to come and talk to me when they are upset (Instead of doing something stupid and dangerous like huffing). But they can't think I'm going to go to their parents over every little thing. We made that mistake last semester. It did absolutely no good to talk to parents about behavior problems at school. I could suspend them, but really what purpose would that serve? At least if they are in class they are engaged in something positive and not on the street with nothing better to do than experiement with drugs. I feel really strongly that I need to address the underlying problem but I don't know what it is!

The boys did come back to the school about an hour ago and talk to me. They wanted to know if they were trouble, I told them they weren't. I was just worried about their wellbeing. They both assured me it would never happen again. That they wanted to stay in school and do something with their lives. They didn't want to disapoint themselves, their families or me. They both appologized and we hugged on it. I guess I can only hope they mean what they say.

Sometimes I think kids do things, just to see if anyone cares?

Rachael and Moxie the Intrepid Trail Mutt tackle the mountain trails of Mazamitla!

Moxie and took a long walk today. We got adventurous, veering off our usual route to explore some new trails! Enjoy the pics!

The trail head


Some of the most beautiful country you will ever see!


Moxie is ready to go!


Silly girl!


More trail


Pines as far as the eye can see!


Up up up we go!


Moxie the intrepid trail mutt waits for her slow human to catch up


Finally, we reach the top!


The view is breathtaking!






I'm laying on my belly in a foot of itchy pine needles on teh downside of the mountain for these shots.






Heading back down


Saw some beautiful flowers






Moxie stops to check her "map"


"We should go this way!"


Moxie gets the zoomies!


Back to the main road


In other news, lots of exciting things happening at the school. We are developing an expansion plan to include more communities. We've put up an add for teachers. I hope we get some good ones!

Taking the Long Way Around

I don't normally post lyrics, but I so closely identify with this song that I had to share it. It's off the Dixie chicks new grammy award winning album, "Taking the Long Way" The whole album is fantastic by the way. I highly recommend!


Taking the Long Way Around - Dixie Chicks


My friends from high school
Married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes
Where their parents live

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy
Six strong hands on the steering wheel

I've been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
But I've always found my way somehow

By taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish and smoked with the hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to

No I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting' it back on the road now

But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around
The long
The long way around

Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around
Taking the long way
Taking the long way around

I'm back

Well I decided to just pull my head out of the sand, roll over and piss like the good little submissive that I am, take another beating that I don't deserve, and just move on.

I chose this life. I need to live it, and live with it. It means I can't have a life outside of my "professional" life, so be it. I don't care anymore.

Meanwhile. I'm back in Mexico, back to the grind. I have lots to do which is good. I may be getting rid of a fly in the ointment which is even better. It will be good to be back to something closer to the equivilent of normal for me.

And at least I will always have animals to fall back on.

Moxie is thrilled to be home. She missed the kids. She spent all last night and today just going from one person to the next catching up on her lovins! She is such a joy. One bright spot in a sometimes dismal world.

This valentines day is perhaps the first one ever, that I am not pining away for a man for whatever reason. I made valentines from me and Mox for all the kids and the two teachers too. We had a little party, then went over to the DIF to serve a special lunch to the seniors in the community. They had a huge turn out, I bet there were 100 guests! We served Tamales and Atole. It seemed a big success. Everyone had a smile on their face. Even the kids seemed to enjoy it. So I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not with the man that I love on Valentines day. I have so much love in my life, so many people to share it with, that it just doesn't matter. I sent valentines to James and gave Mom hers before I left. Mom left one for me in my backpack. Moxie thinks every day is valentines day, and the kids all made me homemade valentines and gave them to me this morning. So sweet. I missed them as much as Moxie did.

Well, Hi ho, hi ho.....

Seeking position as a pooper scooper

No, really. I just want a nice quiet job where I can work with animals and shovel their crap all day, because I'm tired of shoveling human shit.

I want out of the people business for a while.

So seriously, any of my doggy community friends, if there is a kennel, or a day care or something that is hiring, let me know. College degree be damned. Give me a muck bucket and minimum wage and leave me to the animals. At least there I'll be respected.

Post from Moxie

Visit Moxie's Dogster Blog for her latest diary entry. She has become quite the little typist.

Just to set the record straight.

Just who do you think you are dealing with here?

I am a determined person. I work hard. I try to always do the right thing. When given the choice, I always take the high road. I care about people. I hurt when they are hurting. I work to make it better. I do my part to incite change. I'm a kind person. I put others before myself. I won't give up because things aren't going my way. I believe there cannot be change without sacrifice. I give more than lip service to my beliefs. I love and I love deeply. When the going gets tough, I get tougher. I never turn my back on my family, or my friends. I will always be there, when I am needed. I believe in a brighter future for our world, and our children. I will not close my eyes in the face of injustice. I will not walk away from a fight, just because I cannot win. If it is right, if it is just, it is my battle to the end, win or lose. I bend but I won't break. I won't compromise if it means settling for anything less than the right thing. I don't trust you just because you shook my hand. My trust must be earned. My respect is automatic, but can be lost.

I get tired. I have feelings, and I hurt sometimes. I have scars so deep I don't know where they begin or if they end. I have issues, we all do. I'm working on mine, how about you? I am lonely much of the time. I can't stand bullshiters and backstabers. I don't have time for fair weather friendships. I will not be your doormat. I will not give, when I cannot also take. Not anymore. I don't make promises that I don't intend to keep. There is no such thing as a small promise. I don't go out much, I don't like crowds. I don't waste my time on liars, cheaters and thugs. I will not be intimidated, or taken for a fool. I don't think there is any room in this world for hatred. I pledge to keep my mind open, but my heart guarded.

I am not a pretty face, an easy lay, a free ride, a target, a prize, a piece of flesh. I am a person, a good person. I have dreams, emotions, desires. I'm not a genius but I'm pretty smart. I like to laugh. Sometimes you even catch me humming a little tune, or dancing a step or two. I have my ups and downs, my highs and lows. I love teaching. It thrills me to help others learn about the world. I love Mexico, mountains, long walks and puppy dogs. I am a human being, and I have a right to be alive. I have a right to my dignity. You should respect me automatically, as a fellow human being. My life is mine to live. I live it with purpose. I have my share of shame, let me have my pride too. I don't believe it's my place to judge you, nor is it your place to judge me. You are entitled to your opinion, but don't expect it to affect how I live my life.

I am not going to bend over and take it anymore. I will stand and fight. I will fight with everything I have.

More Moxie

I promise, a real post is on the way, until then, feast your eyes on gorgeous Moxie.
Moxie if Dog of the Month for February on Ruffdogs! She's so proud of herself!