Monday, March 19, 2007

Big Changes

Well its been a big day. My boss was in town and we met this morning about the future of the school. We both agreed things cannot continue as they are. We are digging ourselves into a financial hole, all for five students, four of whom could give a damn about school. All the while there are communities that really need and want what we have to offer. So the decision was made to make the students studies more independent, with me leading classes once a month for a week, the rest of the time spend in Zacatecas, Zacatecas, teaching in rural and urban settings there. In this setting I am poised to help the most possible people with my limited resources (namely, me).

Zacatecas is no Mazamitla, and there are things I am going to miss about this place. The natural beauty, there is simply no comparrison. Zacatecas just does not have it. The open areas and offlead romping places for Moxie. I'm sure Zacatecas has them, I just have to find them. And I will miss my kids, as much grief as they have given me lately, I am going to miss them. But Zacatecas has an awful lot to offer me. A nice home, in town, rent free. Running water and hot water pretty well guaranteed. Laundry on site. A women who comes in every day to clean and cook for us! Real meals, of real food! Wireless internet and telephone. Gas for my car paid for. And the opportunity to complete a masters program at Universidad Autonomo Zacatecas for free. Not to mention I will be working in the communities which is my real passion, helping kids of all ages and local teachers. I'm excited about the opportunity, but still sad about the end of this era.

The worst part was telling the kids today what was going to happen. They were really broken up about it. Part of me wants to be angry with them. They were warned. Syl was here a few weeks back and told them if they didn't shape up, he would move me somewhere else, and yet they did nothing to improve their behavior or work ethic. At the same time, they are just kids. I expected alot of them, and they gave me very little, but at the end of the day, they are just kids. I hope that they wake up and realize their whole future is riding on their getting this education. I hope they are willing to work for it. But I cannot work for them. I've done my part, time for them to step up and do theirs.

Syl keeps telling me it will be different working with these kids, truly living in poverty. They will know the value of education and will work for it. Lately, I've felt as if I was teaching in the U.S. with how spoiled and lazy the kids were acting. I really hope this new arrangement works out because teaching in the U.S. is my last resort. I am very catlike in that I don't like change. Its hard for me to adjust and this is a huge change for me. Its major faith time. I just have to believe. Thats the only thing that will see me through this.

So if you are of the praying persuasion, pray for me. And pray that my spanish improves about 300% in the next month. That would be great. Thanks.

1 comment:

Debra Kay said...

If my prayers could teach Spanish, I'd be fluent. It really is something I should just let go, but can't or won't.

The cooking/cleaning lady rocks.

It's spring, the season of change and growth. Ugh, I'm having a low day so it's hard to come up with a really good atta girl. But I can't wait to hear more about your new adventures and see more pictures.

As for change, it and I have a love hate relationship. If it doesn't happen, I get bored, but the rate at which it happens is never satisfactory.

I'm glad you have Moxie with you-she'll show you how its done!